


Have You Heard?

by Kita_the_Spaz



Category: Naruto
Genre: Community: kakairu_fest, Crack, KakaIru Month 2015, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 15:02:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4226343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kita_the_Spaz/pseuds/Kita_the_Spaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the June 12 prompt: you know the friendship’s real when there’s a rumour you’re gay for each other.</p><p>Working in the mission room meant that one was in the hub of the gossip network. There was no important gossip among the ninja of Konoha that a mission desk worker was not aware of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have You Heard?

Working in the mission room meant that Iruka was in the hub of the gossip network. There was no important gossip among the ninja of Konoha that a mission desk worker was not aware of. They knew which shinobi had picked up what nasty disease on a mission, knew who was fucking who or what (Really, Ebisu? Just ick! No matter how drunk you got.) and knew most of the important announcements before they were even finalized.

Iruka heard a lot, passed on the most important things, kept his mouth shut on others, and in general knew more about some nin’s private lives than their medics did.

So it was with a bemused expression that he met Kakashi one evening for dinner, ducking under the curtains of the ramen stall with an abstracted smile for the owner.

Iruka dropped down onto a stool next to Kakashi, his lips twisted in an expression that mixed amusement with dismay, with a hearty helping of disbelief thrown in for good measure.

Kakashi looked up from his book, idly running a finger around the rim of the sake cup sitting before him. “I’d mention that you’re late, but judging by your expression, you’ve heard something you aren’t sure whether to share or not?”

Iruka slumped with a weak laugh. “Anko-kun wouldn’t let me escape without sharing all of the exclusive details of her latest discovery.”

“Mmhm? How many sexually transmitted diseases it’s possible for one person to have?” Kakashi chuckled.

“At the same time? All of them, including variations of the same one.” Iruka replied. “Anko-kun dated the head Medic before, mostly to find out.”

Kakashi chuckled, procuring a sake decanter from Teuchi and pouring them both a cup. “Trust her to go the extra distance.” He toasted Iruka and threw his drink back. “So what strange thing has she learned this time?”

Iruka glanced up to make sure no one was around. He tipped his own drink back and refilled their cups before leaning closer and lowering his voice. “Apparently, you’re bending over and taking it from someone.”

Kakashi blinked slowly. “What?”

Iruka nodded, tipping back his second drink. “Someone kinky from what she’s heard. She doesn’t know who yet but she’s hell-bent on finding out.”

Kakashi blinked again and his mouth worked behind his mask. “Well,” he said at last. “You’ll have to let me know when she does know more.”

Iruka chuckled. “You’ll be the first to know.”

~~~~~~~

Two nights later, they met for dinner again.

This time it was Kakashi wearing the disgruntled expression. “Do you know?” he said without preamble. “— That Anko is out of her ever-loving mind and will stop at nothing when trying to spy on people? I had to oust her out of my shower, my bedroom and my favorite bookstore. She even tried henging into one of my ninken!” He finished with an aggrieved sigh.

Then he smiled slyly, “I think Uuhei’s still chasing her around the village.”

Iruka chuckled, pouring the drinks this time for both of them.

~~~~~~~

Three nights later they met again. Iruka wore a somewhat seasick look when he settled at the bar and waved away Kakashi’s offer to pour him a drink. “I heard more rumors about your love-life” Iruka said morosely. “This time from several others. They swear they know who’s making the great copy-nin bend over and take it.”

“Oh, this should be interesting,” Kakashi quipped. “Who?”

“That’s the thing. They wouldn’t say, so either they didn’t know, or they think it’s something really big.”

Kakashi snorted. “This would be far less entertaining if they actually knew anything.”

Iruka scowled but reached over and stole Kakashi’s full cup to down. “Yes, but you know how persistent rumors are around the village. And sometimes beyond. Remember how those two idiots tried to kidnap Ayame because they were convinced she was dating Naruto.”

“He took the threat to his ramen addiction _very_ seriously.” Kakashi filled the cup Iruka had taken from him and filled Iruka’s formerly empty cup for himself.

Iruka chuckled a little. It had taken Tsunade three hours to convince the brat that Rasenganing the culprits wasn’t an appropriate response. “But it could still lead to trouble.” 

~~~~~~

When Iruka didn’t show up a full hour after the time he was supposed to meet Kakashi for dinner two days later, Kakashi went looking. Iruka wasn’t in the mission room, though the shinobi there did regard Kakashi with some kinds of strange expressions. Nor was he at the Academy or any of the training grounds he frequented. Kakashi had never been to Iruka’s apartment save once on official business, but he thought he ought to see if something had happened.

He tapped on the door to be polite. When there was no answer, he rapped louder.

Iruka yanked the door open and glared at him. “Why the fuck are you here?”

A little startled at the venom, Kakashi blinked. “Mah, you didn’t show for dinner.”

Iruka glared around, looking for anyone in sight. “Either get in here or leave. Let’s not give them any more ammunition.”

Kakashi stepped inside, being shoved aside as Iruka slammed the door shut behind him.

“Iruka-sensei?”

Iruka glanced up at him and then looked away, paler than usual except two spots of hectic color on his cheeks. “I found out,” he said simply.

“Found out what?” Kakashi asked.

“Who is supposedly fucking you!” Iruka exploded.

“Oh?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “Who is it? Last I heard, Anko-san was betting on Tsunade with a strap-on.”

“Me, you idiot!” Iruka exploded. then Kakashi’s words registered and he blanched. “Oh, gods, she’s sicker in the head than I thought. _Eww!_ ”

“Wait, you?” Kakashi stared at Iruka for a long moment before bursting into laughter. “Really? Where do they get this shit?”

Iruka’s face fluctuated between white and red several times while Kakashi chortled. “Because we eat dinner together all the time and now you’re showing up at my apartment, bastard!” he raged. “And what’s that supposed to mean, you ass? You think I couldn’t take you in a fight?”

Kakashi stopped laughing and stared into Iruka’s stormy eyes. “I don’t doubt you could take me in a fight, sensei, but that’s not what they’re talking about.”

“Oh?” Iruka flushed again and swallowed hard. “O-oh.”

Kakashi smirked. “Care to find out?” He held out a hand.

Iruka’s hand shook only slightly, but he reached out and accepted Kakashi’s.

~~~~~~

Later, sated and with that pleasant looseness and mild ache that only followed a really spectacular bout of sex, Kakashi relaxed on Iruka’s bed, naked and unashamed.

He smiled, watching an equally nude Iruka head into the bathroom to find something to clean up with. It had worked out just the way he had intended, minus one or two hiccups.

He still owed Anko for that shit, though. Maybe he’d let the whole pack chase her around for a while.

He appreciatively watched Iruka heading back for the bed. Later, though. First, he had every intention of seeing if Iruka was up for an encore performance.

**Author's Note:**

> Shameless crack.
> 
> Not betaed, so kindly point out mistakes for eradication, yes?


End file.
